Your dad touched me again.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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