If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
