if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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