There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
