pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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