Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
