she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
