i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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