i don't like sucking hair
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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