Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
