My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
