i would punch a child for taco bell
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
