I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
