Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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