A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
