i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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