either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
