and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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