when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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