but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
