I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
