i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
