can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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