I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
