capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
