The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
