FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
