They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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