just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is wine microwaveable?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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