Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
