My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Randomize
