Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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