You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
