i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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