I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
