I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
