Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
