i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
