remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
