I puked a lego.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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