Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
