chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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