4 words: hood of his car
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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