What a fucking waste of an outfit
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
