i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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