Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
