At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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