Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
