So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
