not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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