I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
