Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
