So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
