Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
